Profanity in Bridge

From Beavertown PrestoWorks - June 20, 2018

The president of the local duplicate bridge cartel in Minnedosa Manitoba has reported that after 24 years of regulated weekly tournament play, beginning in September theirs will be the first club in Canada to permit profanity during their Thursday afternoon gatherings.

The local duplicate group consists of up to seven tables, so 28 players, with the eldest, just passing her 102nd birthday in April.  

“It is true, but we're still just like any regulated bridge game in the world,” said Nelly Mills, the newest player to the group that meets weekly at the local Legion. “We have players who report their performance to the Bridge Gods and get their points or whatever, so la ti dah.” She reports that when she began with the group 18 months ago, she thought, “Fuck yeah!, Legion bridge, I can have my half-pint of draft while I'm the dummy, just like my Mom used to do!”.

But noooo, “We have to wait until all of the boards are played before we can head to the bar,” she lamented. “Yeah. I got used to that.”

Many of the local players reported that they grew up in families where their parents swore and hollered at each other for failing to use a convention they had invented.

“I thought drinking and arguing were just kinda part of the reality of bridge,” said Mills. “At least it was in my house. So when I finally decided to start back into the game, in my retirement here, well, frankly, I was put in my place!”

Mills researched the rules in detail and found no clauses that prohibited swearing.

“Shit, noshit, fuckballs, I mean we all forget what's been played sometimes, and you need to let it go, just like the curlers,” she said, “They swear all the time, and it fuckin' helps their game. Ask me. I know!”

Beavertown staffers followed up with duplicate bridge clubs in Vancouver and Orillia, and confirmed that there is no prohibition against using profanity, but that the hairy eyeball has been effective at keeping civility as the norm during weekly play.